Jokes of The Day 😁

[Rajkumar]

English and Hindi always Contradict.

English : The sooner the better.
Hindi : Jaldi ka kaam shaitaan ka hota hai.

English : Think of the devil, and the devil is here.
Hindi : Badi lambi umar hai tumhari, abhi tumhe hi yaad kar rahe the.

English : Don't wait, fight for your rights.
Hindi : Sabra ka fal meetha hota hai.

English : You silly cow!
Hindi : Bichari gaaye jaisi hai.

and the most striking of all,

English : As wise as an owl.
Hindi : Ullu ka pattha.

 

[Rajkumar]

 

[Rajkumar]

बीवी : सुनो जी आज ऑफ़िस से जल्दी आ जाना मूवी देखने चलेंगे

पति : नहीं आया तो !!!!!

बीवी : अगर टाइम से आये तो बीजेपी के चुनाव चिन्ह से स्वागत करुँगी..! और देर करी तो फिर कांग्रेस के चुनाव चिन्ह से...!

और ज़्यादा देर करी तो फिर..... केजरीवाल का चुनाव चिन्ह दरवाजे के पीछे रखा है...ध्यान रहे...!



पति: चलो घुमने चलते हैं।
पत्नी: कहाँ ?
पति: दुबई
पत्नी : ना बाबा ना श्रीदेवी समझा है क्या?

 

[Rajkumar]

पहले डर लगता था कि..

दो हजार का नोट बंद होने वाला है..

अब डर लगता है कि..

नोट से पहले बैंक बंद ना हो जाये!!


Confused Moments

अबतक यही समझ मे नही आ रहा है कि ....

Internet free है .......

या हम लाेग ...!!!?

 

[Bapun]

Era of Big Data, AI, Predictive Analytics, Social Applications, Recommendation Engines, Next Best Action etc., All coming Together...
_____________________
```Hello! Is this Gordon's Pizza?

No sir, it's Google's Pizza.

Did I dial the wrong number?

No sir, Google bought the pizza store.

Oh, alright - then I’d like to place an order please.

Okay sir, do you want the usual?

The usual? You know what my usual is?

According to the caller ID, the last 15 times you’ve ordered a 12-slice with double-cheese, sausage, and thick crust.

Okay - that’s what I want this time too.

May I suggest that this time you order an 8-slice with ricotta, arugula, and tomato instead?

No, I hate vegetables.

But your cholesterol is not good.

How do you know?

Through the subscribers guide. We have the results of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

Maybe so, but I don’t want the pizza you suggest – I already take medicine for high cholesterol.

But you haven’t taken the medicine regularly. 4 months ago you purchased from Drugsale Network a box of only 30 tablets.

I bought more from another drugstore.

It's not showing on your credit card sir.

I paid in cash.

But according to your bank statement you did not withdraw that much cash.

I have another source of cash.

This is not showing on your last tax form, unless you got it from an undeclared income source.

To HELL With Ur Pizza..!!
ENOUGH!!
I'm sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, and WhatsApp. I'm going to an island without internet, where there’s no cellphone line, and no one to spy on me ...

I understand sir, but you’ll need to renew your PASSPORT ... it expired 5 weeks ago.```

 

[Sai Jai]

Era of Big Data, AI, Predictive Analytics, Social Applications, Recommendation Engines, Next Best Action etc., All coming Together...
_____________________
```Hello! Is this Gordon's Pizza?

No sir, it's Google's Pizza.

Did I dial the wrong number?

No sir, Google bought the pizza store.

Oh, alright - then I’d like to place an order please.

Okay sir, do you want the usual?

The usual? You know what my usual is?

According to the caller ID, the last 15 times you’ve ordered a 12-slice with double-cheese, sausage, and thick crust.

Okay - that’s what I want this time too.

May I suggest that this time you order an 8-slice with ricotta, arugula, and tomato instead?

No, I hate vegetables.

But your cholesterol is not good.

How do you know?

Through the subscribers guide. We have the results of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

Maybe so, but I don’t want the pizza you suggest – I already take medicine for high cholesterol.

But you haven’t taken the medicine regularly. 4 months ago you purchased from Drugsale Network a box of only 30 tablets.

I bought more from another drugstore.

It's not showing on your credit card sir.

I paid in cash.

But according to your bank statement you did not withdraw that much cash.

I have another source of cash.

This is not showing on your last tax form, unless you got it from an undeclared income source.

To HELL With Ur Pizza..!!
ENOUGH!!
I'm sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, and WhatsApp. I'm going to an island without internet, where there’s no cellphone line, and no one to spy on me ...

I understand sir, but you’ll need to renew your PASSPORT ... it expired 5 weeks ago.```

Class :rofl::rofl::tongue::tongue:

 

[Rom1moR]

 

[Rom1moR]

 

[Rom1moR]

 

[Rom1moR]