5/21/2012 WWE Monday Night RAW
We join the show with Eve welcoming the Permanent General Manager of both RAW and Smackdown, and the man who beat John Cena last night, Mr. John Lauranaitis. Johnny Ace comes out on a motorized wheelchair apparatus and Eve helps him out of it so that he can stand atop a crutch. Ace said that the docs told him he has a possible broken clavicle, an injured ACL and possible spinal injury, not to mention all the contusions over his body. He cannot lift his left arm or move his left leg. This is all ok, because he is a fierce competitor in that ring. But when he is out of it, he is an executive. No one can lay a finger on him ever again, and if they do, that person will be terminated. He wants to now introduce a man that he re-hired, and a man that John Cena will face at No Way Out, The Big Show!
Here comes The Show! Show is out in a suit. Show is noticeably disappointed as the fans start a You Suck chant. He is sure that everyone wants an explanation, but frankly none of us are entitled to our explanation. Last week, he was on his knees to Ace, doing something that he’s never done before. No one loves this business more than he does. No one. He was so upset that he found himself crying. Everyone watched a grown a** man cry. The crowd calls him a sell out as he points out that we didn’t give him any sympathy. He did what he had to do, what each and everyone of us would have done. He has an ironclad contract now, and he’s proud. How dare Cena and any of us judge him. He is screaming all of this, by the way. He will be judging Cena on June 17th, because he’s going to knock out…
Here comes David Otunga, seemingly randomly. He’s got a mic. He points out that Cena lost to his boss, and now it’s time Cena loses to him. Cena is on the mic, he wants to tell Otunga something real quick; he is not in the mood. He tells David to go watch reruns of Law and Order, because if he gets in the ring with Cena tonight, he promises that Cena is going to hurt him. Otunga is still down, but he pauses. He wants to dedicate this match to Mr. Laurinaitis.
Match 1: David Otunga vs. John Cena
Cena rushes into the corner, so Otunga grabs the rope before Cena can grab on. The ref breaks them up and he does the rush once again, only for Battleetoad Otunga to leave the ring. Cena follows and OTunga slips back in. Cena follows, and out goes Otunga. Cena tries to trick him, chases Otunga out of the ring and back into it only for Otunga to beat on the back of Cena. He flexes for Mr. Ace, and Cena takes the opportunity to go on the offense. Some rights and a toss into the corner. Clothesline into the corner, then another off the ropes. Cena holds up Otunga for an AA, takes enough time for me to do my taxes, hits the AA on Otunga, then locks in the STF.
Winner: John Cena (*)
After the match, Curt Hawkins, Tyler Reks, Darren Young and Titus O’Neil attack Cena! They pound on him for a minute before Sheamus’s music hits! Out comes Sheamus, trucking over Johnny Ace in the process! Cena and Sheamus toss the four young superstars over the top rope, but here’s Ace. He questions the four young superstars, says he didn’t give them permission, then sends them to the back. As for Cena and Sheamus, it looks like the audience likes to see them in action, so they’re going to be in a tag team match in a 2 on 3 handicap match. Wait, for the first time ever on RAW, it’ll be a 2 on 3, Handicap, Lumberjack Match…you mean we don’t get anything on a pole?
We’re back with Ricardo Rodriguez in the ring, presumably waiting to announce Del Rio. Santino’s music hits, instead, though, and he comes out with the Cobra on hand. He says that he doesn’t understand Rodriguez, and he doesn’t think anyone does. He says that he doesn’t roll his r’s and calls his eyebrows catepillars. Ricardo tries, and Santino says it sucks, then rolls some R’s of his own. Ricardo and he roll em back and forth, sounding like a squealing Chewbacca. He pulls up the Cobra and Ricardo backs off. Ricardo tries to remove his jacket, but gets stuck and Santino claims he has no choice, but to hit the Cobra. He wants to now show how it’s done. He requests Del Rio’s music and announces him as weighing in at 108 give a craps, coming from some place in Mexico.
Before any match happens, we get a promo for RAW’s 1,000th episode. More dubstep! They announce the show at being 3 hours each and every Monday…
Del Rio doesn’t look too happy at Santino announcing him.
Match 2: Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio
Lockup to start. Side headlock from Orton. Del Rio leads him into the corner. Orton is able to hit some kicks then a body slam. He drops a knee, but Del Rio is out of the way. Del Rio with a kick to the arm of Orton, then attacks the arm. His next move is deflected and Orton stomps the arm. Orton gets him in the corner and mounts for ten punches. He gets to four before Del Rio slips out onto the apron. Bad move, as Orton sets him up for the DDT. Del Rio flips him over rthe ropes though, and Orton lands on the apron. Del Rio kicks the leg then hangs up Orton as we go to break.
Back to the show and Del Rio has Orton’s left arm in a hold. Orton with a headbutt or two but Del Rio uses his knees acorss the arm of Orton. He drops one more knee on his head then pins for 1….22…NO! An armbar from Del Rio, but Orton gets out. Del Rio fights back with a kick to the arm. Del Rio hits the ropes then flies across the ring. Orton ducks out of the way, sending Orton to the outside. Orton hits a clotheslines, one more. Powerslam from Orton. Orton sends Del Rio to the ropes and hits the rope-assisted DDT. He’s looking for the RKO. Here’s Jericho! Codebreaker to Randy Orton!
Winner: Randy Orton via DQ (**)
Jericho grabs the mic. He is the best in the world at what he does. He repeats this, louder. One more time! The best at EVERYTHING he does! Orton stands, so Jericho hits another Codebreaker, a bit more sloppily. Jericho looks to leave the ring then reconsiders. He lifts Orton by head head, nose to nose with Orton, then hits one more, better looking Codebreaker.
Back to the show, and Daniel Bryan is here to talk about the controversy at the end of the match with cm punk. If you missed it, Bryan had the YES! Lock in while being pinned and the 1, 2, 3 count was hit around the time Punk tapped out. Bryan says that last night, a great injustice was done. He should be the new WWE Champion. He then has video footage of Punk tapping, ignoring the ref’s three count completely. Question and Answer time with Daniel Bryan. Did he make CM Punk tap out? YES! haha. Should he be the WWE Champion? YES! If he faces CM Punk one more time, will he make him tap out again? YES! YES! YES! The crowd chants NO! NO! NO! in retort. haha. The only reason he is not the champion is because of the incompetence of one referee and he demands a rematch. CM Punk is here with his belt!
Punk wants to clear up any controversy. He calls last night’s battle one of the greatest battles, but Bryan is forgetting one thing; he beat Daniel Bryan 1, 2, 3 and he would love to settle all of this but he wants to remind Bryan of what went down last Friday night on Smackdown. We are taken back to Smackdown where Bryan attacked Kane, making him think it was Punk. It is because of this that CM Punk has the pleasure of introducing Bryan’s opponent for this evening….KANE.
Match 3: Daniel Bryan vs. Kane
Bryan gets some kicks in quickly but Kane knocks him across the ring then hits hard rights into the corner. Kane whips Bryan to the opposite corner and follows up with a clothesline. He goes for another, but Bryan moves and Bryan hits a dropkick in the corner. He goes up top and flies off, right into a chokeslam attempt. Bryan floats over and holds the ropes as Kane runs towards him. Bryan holds the ropes and Kane flies over. Both Kane and Bryan are on the outside. Here’s Punk with the chair. He looks at Bryan, then goes to attack Kane but Bryan stops him! Bryan grabs the chair and here’s Kane to catch him red-handed. Kane big boots Bryan in the face as Punk giggles. Kane with the chair, and he smacks the back of Bryan over and over as the ref calls for the bell.
Winner: Daniel Bryan via DQ (*)
Afterwards, Kane sends Bryan into the ring. Kane with the chokeslam. Kane isn’t done, though, and hits yet another chokeslam as Punk mockingly calls it carnage. Punk claims that he wants to make sure he is ok. Punk gets in the ring, locks in the Anaconda Vice for a bit, then does the Yes Chant.
Back to the show, and Daniel Bryan is here to talk about the controversy at the end of the match with CM Punk. If you missed it, Bryan had the YES! Lock in while being pinned and the 1, 2, 3 count was hit around the time Punk tapped out. Bryan says that last night, a great injustice was done. He should be the new WWE Champion. He then has video footage of Punk tapping, ignoring the ref’s three count completely. Question and Answer time with Daniel Bryan. Did he make CM Punk tap out? YES! haha. Should he be the WWE Champion? YES! If he faces CM Punk one more time, will he make him tap out again? YES! YES! YES! The crowd chants NO! NO! NO! in retort. haha. The only reason he is not the champion is because of the incompetence of one referee and he demands a rematch. CM Punk is here with his belt!
Punk wants to clear up any controversy. He calls last night’s battle one of the greatest battles, but Bryan is forgetting one thing; he beat Daniel Bryan 1, 2, 3 and he would love to settle all of this but he wants to remind Bryan of what went down last Friday night on Smackdown. We are taken back to Smackdown where Bryan attacked Kane, making him think it was Punk. It is because of this that CM Punk has the pleasure of introducing Bryan’s opponent for this evening….KANE.
Match 3: Daniel Bryan vs. Kane
Bryan gets some kicks in quickly but Kane knocks him across the ring then hits hard rights into the corner. Kane whips Bryan to the opposite corner and follows up with a clothesline. He goes for another, but Bryan moves and Bryan hits a dropkick in the corner. He goes up top and flies off, right into a chokeslam attempt. Bryan floats over and holds the ropes as Kane runs towards him. Bryan holds the ropes and Kane flies over. Both Kane and Bryan are on the outside. Here’s Punk with the chair. He looks at Bryan, then goes to attack Kane but Bryan stops him! Bryan grabs the chair and here’s Kane to catch him red-handed. Kane big boots Bryan in the face as Punk giggles. Kane with the chair, and he smacks the back of Bryan over and over as the ref calls for the bell.
Winner: Daniel Bryan via DQ (*)
Afterwards, Kane sends Bryan into the ring. Kane with the chokeslam. Kane isn’t done, though, and hits yet another chokeslam as Punk mockingly calls it carnage. Punk claims that he wants to make sure he is ok. Punk gets in the ring, locks in the Anaconda Vice for a bit, then does the Yes Chant.
We get a recap of Paul Heyman punking HHH into assault.
Roberts is in the ring and wants to introduce a man who has been gone for 8 months and the NEW Intercontinental Champion, Christian! He’s in action, next.
Match 4: Christian vs. Jinder Mahal
Lockup but Jinder hits a knee, and another. A club to the back then a whip, and he lifts, but Christian with an inverted DDT. He goes up top and hits a missle ddropkick! he looks for his peeps and goes to grab Jinder on the apron, but the reg stops him which allows Jinder to toss Christian over the ropes. Mahal hangs Christian over the apron and drops an elbow on the face of Christian then a few knees to the chest of Christian. Double Underhook Suplex into a pin for 1…2..NO! Christian kicks out. Jinder with a cross face chickenwing held in lightly. Christian is up and tries fighting out, but Jinder sends him chest first into the turnbuckle. Christian hops up and over into a Sunset flip but only get sa 2. Christian with some right, a hard clothesline. Jinder is hung up on the ropes, Christian hops over and uppercuts him. Christian is up, spinning back elbow form the middle rope! He’s calling for the Killswitch, but Jinder goes for a back suplex. Christian deflects and runs into a high knee from Jinder. Jinder calls for the Camel Clutch, but Christian escapes and hits the Killswitch! Instead of covering, he’s going up top! Frog Splash from Christian and a pin for 1…2….3!!!
Winner: Christian (**1/2)
Not bad. Jinder looked much better and it’s nice to see Christian return. It appears that Christian is looking for a new finisher, and found it in a frog splash.
Kelly is in the back, looking very patriotic.
Match 5: Beth Pheonix vs. Kelly Kelly
Beteh grabs Kelly and tosses her down quickly. Kicks to Kelly. Beth lifts her up and hits a body slam. Beh drops an elbow then a leg drop and a pin. Layla is shown in the back watching. Kelly tries to fight back, Beth puses her across the ring. Beth lifts and Kelly rolls her up for 1…2..NO! Beth clotheslines Kelly down.Beth tosses Kelly in the ocrner then flies head first into the turnbuckle. She turns into a Lou Thesz press and Kelly hits some right. Kelly with a hurricanrana (excessive spinning included). She sends Beth in the corner. Kelly does a carthweel into a springboard, but Beth hits her in the back of the head, hard. Beth follows up with a Glam Slam and the pin for 1…2…3!!!
Winner: Beth Pheonix (*)
Looks like Beth isn’t done with Layla.
Match 6: Handicap Lumberjack Match
John Cena and Sheamus vs. ???